So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize