Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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