Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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