I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
