We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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