Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
