Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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