I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
