i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
