You really coming over, don't trick.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
