who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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