just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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