i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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