she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
