I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
