Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
