I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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