So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize