I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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