I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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