Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
