She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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