He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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