I just saw a hot homeless man
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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