this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
