It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
