Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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