We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
