You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
