The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
