She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
