Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
