Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
