Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
