I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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