Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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