I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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