where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
