the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
