i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize