if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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