In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
