She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
