Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
