I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Damn victory sex feels great
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
