So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she peed on how many people?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
