Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
