Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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