Where are you?
In a non slutty way
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just gift wrapped bread.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
