My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
