I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
