i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize