I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
