so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
