So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
