i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
