11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
