Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
pop tarts are not kleenex
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she peed on how many people?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
