You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
pray to the hookup gods
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
