i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
