that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
