This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
