would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
