My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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