great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
