So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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