oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
